Meeting your children’s friend’s parents, telling them what you believe..

I have to say that I get quite nervous opening myself up to new friends.  It is probably one of the worst things for me ever.   I personally don’t like having a bunch in common with someone and losing that friend or communication with that friend for great stretches of time.  Certainly it is a sweet thing to have a reunion when you find each other again.  But for whatever reason, maybe I am greedy, or careful or both.  But I make room for only so many friends in my life.  I like to give my friends and family the best of me.  Not just the whatever is left of me after all is said and done.  So it’s for this reason we decided for many other reasons also, that we would stop trying for more babies.   I have always been comfortable with the idea of 12 kids, something Kimi has always rejected.  Apparently because she has a bit more common sense about her than I do.  But I am sort of a dreamer.   I woke the F up recently.

It goes like this.  Going through a Hurricane as a single strong, healthy adult is one thing.  Going through having to watch out for another, that is a great deal of difficulty times two.  
But times that by 6, that becomes a major responsibility, and so much harder to keep control of.   So we won’t be having 12, in fact we won’t be having any more than four.  
I have come to grips with it, and it makes a whole bunch of sense to stop at four, now that we have four.   

Where's The Map on D.tube, a travel tips, blog and travel classified ad site
Where's The Map on D.tube, a travel tips, blog and travel classified ad site

It was only a few generations ago that 9-16 children born from one woman was not uncommon.  My grandmother’s mother/grandmother was this way.  I never met her myself, but my great great grandma Mary Ann Dixon was a trooper, she had either 16 or 17 children.   In my chart I have it calculated in two ways, with slightly different outcomes for conclusions on birth and death dates, etc.   It is amazing that this was pretty standard though.    http://houseofthompson.net/individual.php?pid=P710&ged=Thompson

I know from my grandma how hard of times it was in those years around the mid-1800’s to early 1900’s, but at those times children helped with house duties, family businesses and other chores.   So having 16ish children helped a lot, my grandmother said as a little girl, she was expected from a very early age to collect coal from the railroad tracks for burning in a range or a heater.   One of my grandmother’s very first memories was of working.  She was/is amazing to me. 

So this is one of those things, I don’t like to tell people that I bury my grandmother’s token that I had made of her for her memory.  Unless I think they are a trusted friend.  I guess I opened up to that more recently while we traveled Europe.  I made a few videos of us burying gold plated tokens with my grandmother’s likeness formed into the coin.  We made some good friends that we vowed to share these things with, so I do from time to time post personal thoughts.  

Grandma Jennie Nevitt Ney Barber

Grandma Jennie Nevitt Ney Barber

Grandma Jennie Nevitt Ney Barber Memorial Challenge Coin

Grandma Jennie Nevitt Ney Barber Memorial Challenge Coin

 

I sent about 115 of these out to the family, and people who knew my grandmother.  I also have buried about 40 of these coins.
Her and I planned to visit Europe together before she got too old.  Then I got in a car accident and by the time I was able to go to Europe, she had already passed away.
So I bury her in the finest of mausoleums, or in bodies of water near by, like deep rivers or lakes.     The coin that you see above is the actual size.   The inside is bronze, with a thin layer of 18k gold.   I know in 100s of years people will find these and maybe they will look up information about her.   She was such a spry and combative character with a huge helping of kindness and meekness.  She really is who inspired me both good and bad in so many ways in life more than anyone up until I married my wife, and even after that she lived with me for many years.   

I find that telling friends weird stuff about burying my grandma, or god forbid I bring up politics or religion and I don’t want to shut up about those topics so I tend to bring them up.  But in doing that, I often stick my foot in my own mouth, and/or something comes between a friendship for those reasons.  Be it my opinions on abortion, creation, science stuff (climate, etc), or whatever else that may or may not be controversial.   Lately just talking about travel has been stress relieving.  But then, some of the more interesting things that I found about a place when we are traveling abroad is how diverse people’s beliefs are, and its really interesting getting those things brought out in the open to talk about them.  So I put my foot back in my mouth. 

On the other hand, we have met some really incredible people in the world after all of these travels.   It is great to relax on the beach with friends in winter months.   And, even more interesting than that to me is that some of our new friends share similar beliefs, and the others tend to be more relaxed and accepting of diverse beliefs.  Mexico, Puerto Rico and other parts of Latin America that we have lived in have been the coolest places on my cool places list, and it brings like minded people together.  It’s very satisfying to be able to have intellectual conversations without having to hold things back for the sake of the children.   

We may not always see eye to eye, but I most certainly respect and will think about your opinion if I care about you.  So we will see how long it is before I f’up any other friendships.
I did write the Irish government (The minister of tourism), a reply after they wrote me and followed up on a complaint that I had made about 5 months ago. It was really nice to get a cordial reply after I sent my asshole-ish opinion their way.  What I wrote him was an apology for me offering my complaint, when they were kind enough to host me in their country for multiple stays over the last year.   The Irish people were some of the best folks ever, with this enduring friendship, and bold honest words for people that they care about.

I admitted that behind Mexico, Ireland is in tie with Scotland for my 2nd favorite place, and both for different but not really that different of reasons.   But I hate the cold.
So I am enjoying this latitude.  Between Latitude 16 to Latitude 20, every where that I have visited in that latitude range has been the most amazing ever, for weather, culture, hospitality. 

 
I found Europe was too expensive.  But it was definitely much harder to offend the Irish.  I sometimes push the limits too.  But apparently I didn’t with our new Irish friends, and Lord forgive me if I do.  

I can’t imagine that I am the only parent out there that gets anxiety meeting your children’s friends (+parents)for the first or second time.  

We had a good birthday for our second oldest Jennie, with a big group of friends, and then we celebrated Easter with some of the same friends as well as some new friends.
Imagine that, finally time to relax a bit.  🙂  The kiddos are enjoying themselves in all of these journies.  

Merida Mexico Yucatan

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